Learning another language is a tricky business. Pitfalls galore. For example, I learned in my Italian class that "piano" means floor of a building, slow, and (unsurprisingly) piano. My friend Marja reasonably asked me, "So, how do you say 'move the piano slowly to the third floor'?" I have no idea.

Along these lines, I was dining with a Frenchman last night who inquired what I would like to eat. I replied "La soupe et le connard." That would be fine if indeed that meant "the soup and the duck," but it doesn't. Duck is "canard."

I actually said, "I'll have the soup and the asshole."