You know how everyone's like, "you should never, ever stick a Q-tip in your ear." And you're all, "But why would it be so perfectly, specifically designed for ear-sticking if you're not supposed to stick it in your ear? That's just crazy. What on earth else would you do with it?" So you stick it in your ear and do a little maintenance and feel, briefly, very satisfied.

That's right before you start wondering if your ear will ache this much for the rest of your life or if--worse--you may be unable to hear any sound under stadium-rock volume ever again.

Don't stick a Q-tip in your ear.