Most beloved character in fiction

On my way to work this morning, I heard an extended debate on the radio about the tainted Foster Farms chicken in California and what should be done.

This probably wasn't the main objective of the program, but my big takeaway was that someone must immediately write a book featuring a jaunty protagonist called Salmonella Heidelberg. If not, it will be a tragic waste.

Somebody get Lemony Snicket on the horn.