Under duress

Do I have company right now?  Yes.  Am I sitting here typing right in front of them? Yes.
Is it the rudest possible way to be a hostess?  YES.  But I'll be damned if I'm going to blow it on the penultimate day of the December challenge.  So here I am.

Now I'm crowd sourcing the content.  My guests are calling out suggestions drawn from the top hits of this evening's conversational topics:

  1. Sewers
  2. Vertically jumping crocodiles
  3. Why Florida is the most dangerous place in America.  Also crazy.
    3a. "No. You need a better word than crazy. That's totally overused. People are constantly using it. Like, 'Oh my god the frappucinos at Starbucks are CRAZY.'"

These are all pretty compelling, obviously. But for me, the jumping crocodiles are the big winners. As I pointed out over hors d'oeuvres, are crocodiles not already sufficiently terrifying?  They are.

 A photo of an actual sign taken by a non-imaginary friend in India. Presumably, she has been eaten by now.  I'll miss her.

A photo of an actual sign taken by a non-imaginary friend in India. Presumably, she has been eaten by now.  I'll miss her.

 

Interestingly, another friend told me just a couple of days ago that there is a beach in Australia where people have gotten wise to the crocodiles in the late, so have begun avoiding the water.  Ha HA.  The crocodiles have also gotten wise to the people getting wise.  And now they sneak around to the woods on the far side of the beach whence they RUN out and CHASE people into the lake the better to kill them.  Are you kidding me with this?  And now the jumping?

So the morals of today are:  avoid crocodiles (which evidently will be more challenging than you previously realized) and springform pans are totally worth the money (the cake was a huge success).

What? That's not enough for you?  People, I'm having a dinner party RIGHT NOW.